I want to preface this post with a quick summary of some of the suffering of my life. If only to justify that I speak from a place of experience, not folly or blind trust.
At a very young age, my parents went through a messy separation and divorce. This was followed by their new marriages, which gave me new siblings, a new home and lots of confusion. At 8 years old, my grandmother passed away. From the time I was 5 years old until I was 15 my parents were constantly in court. The police being called was a fairly regular occurrence at my house. At 14, I was separated from my brother due to a court order. At 14, I left home because my dad stopped talking to me. When I was 15, my brother was hit by a car, suffered a traumatic brain injury and had to have part of his brain removed. During that time, I was sick for 5 months with various colds and flus due to the amount of time I spent visiting my brother in the hospital. When I was 16, my grandfather passed away. When I was 18, I ended a 3-year relationship with the man I thought I was going to marry. When I was 20, I lost a dear friend several days before Christmas. When I was 20, I sat across the country waiting for reports of my other grandfather's health as he battled cancer. Currently (and for years), I have had to handle attacks from my father and brother due to my belief in Jesus.
I consider myself a person well-acquainted with grief. So, know that what follows is from a heart that knows grief and could not have made it through a single day without the grace, goodness, mercy and love of God. I am the woman I am today because my strength, my love and my surety is in Christ and Him alone.
The purpose of life is "To glorify God and enjoy Him forever." That is the purpose of everyone's life, everywhere, ever. And, to the degree we do that, is the degree that we live to our potential as human beings.
So, that means in the midst of everyday decisions and obstacles, we need to seek out the truth. We need to seek out how God is being glorified in the midst of every situation. And we need to figure out what we can do so that our attitudes and responses are glorifying to the Lord. We have to ask ourselves: How is my life reflecting that I am sustained by the will of God and the power and might of His hand?
One place of testing for me recently, was dealing with the parasite Giardia. I was sick for a total of 8 weeks. I'll let you go ahead and WebMD Giardia for yourself to see what the symptoms are. During most of this time, I was unable to consume meat, dairy, caffeine, excessive sugar or alcohol. I was willing to do whatever it took to be well (which was a high dosage of prayer). I didn't think giving up those things would be very difficult (meat was actually the hardest), and for the most part, it wasn't. I was reminded today though, that the Lord provided my desire, drive and discipline to be well. I was telling a woman who works at the restaurant next to my work about being sick. Her response when I told her what I couldn't eat? "Oh, they would've had to kill me!" And she was serious.
But the Lord sustained me by the might of His hand. And, in the midst of all of it, I had stillness of heart knowing that God was my sustainer and savior. He did not allow me to walk alone. I had my brothers and sisters supporting me, praying for me and urging me to seek medical attention all along the way.
And yes, I did cry.
And yes, I did laugh.
But, I did not curse God or seek to blame Him for my lot.
Though he allowed me to suffer, it wasn't his fault! Not like blaming a bully on the playground. As if I could be angry with the one who gave me the breath of life! As if I could accuse a just, holy and righteous king of deceit and harm! How could I accuse my savior of damning me?
No, He is not a wicked god. He desires not to bring me harm, but rather, to glorify Himself (which brings me life, light, love and peace). He seeks to trim the fat (a.k.a. sin) from His people and to make them holy as He is holy. And, it's not as if God is some man in the clouds somewhere haphazardly putting us through suffering.
Let's venture into a bit of a thought experiment to think about what we would expect if a perfect God became man and dwelt among His creation. What sort of life would that man lead?
Would he put himself in a place of power? Would he become a great king with castles and thrones and concubines? Would he never suffer and be a fat, lazy oaf of a man? Or would he be the handsomest among men, self-obsessed and fit?
No! We know this because Christ came! He was born amongst animals, raised as a skilled craftsman, was forgotten by his parents at the temple, and suffered betrayal from one of his best friends, persecution by his own people and crucifixion for no crime. And, if the prophet Isaiah was correct then Jesus was pretty plain looking to boot.
God came and suffered life as a human. He was chased out of cities for healing people. He was mocked, beaten, betrayed, murdered. He lived a life of worse suffering than many of us will ever see. Yet, we curse and question God that he would dare let such things happen to us! As if He didn't understand our suffering!
And though he suffered, and was tempted, tested and tried, He was perfect. He did not betray the Father with his heart, thoughts, or his words. He lived the perfect live that you and I cannot live.
And so, what do we do in the midst of tragedy, pain and suffering? We glorify God. We mourn, but don't give way to despair. We cry, but in the arms of Christ. We yell, but at the brokenness of sin, not the supposed cruelty of God. We remember that God is not an evil child with a magnifying glass, burning ants. God is our Father. Our perfect, loving Father. He sent His Spirit to dwell in us! He is the one person who has refused to leave us, no matter how difficult things get! He is the one who has compassion on us. He is the one who sees our hearts as they truly are.
Suffering is a pressure cooker for sins hiding under the surface. Anger at God for suffering is indicative of mistrusting God. It's a sin of accusing God for what He is not. He is not a liar. He is not malicious. He is not hateful. He is not against you, trying to make things too hard for you!
He is trying to get you to place your burdens on Him. He is trying to take your burdens so you can carry His burden. His burden was the burden of a perfect life, lived in perfect unity with God. That's the burden we're meant to carry, and it's a very easy and light burden to carry. Let us not forget that He has already carried our burdens. He bore them to death. Let us remember he knows grief and has compassion on us.
Let us pray that God would be glorified in our lives. Let us pray that we would dispel our preconceived notions about who God is and instead allow Him to reveal himself in truth. Let us pray that we would throw ourselves into his arms and trust in His glorious provision through every moment.
Worthy is the Lamb who was slain! May His name be praised to the end of days!
Isaiah 53: 2b-11a, NLT.
"There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him. He was despised and rejected— a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care. Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the sins of us all. He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. Unjustly condemned, he was led away. No one cared that he died without descendants, that his life was cut short in midstream. But he was struck down for the rebellion of my people. He had done no wrong and had never deceived anyone. But he was buried like a criminal; he was put in a rich man’s grave. But it was the LORD’s good plan to crush him and cause him grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have many descendants. He will enjoy a long life, and the LORD’s good plan will prosper in his hands. When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied. And because of his experience, my righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous."
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