I think at this point it's safe to say the last 20 years have been pretty intense. I keep expecting to get my head above water and keep it there for more than a couple of weeks, but it doesn't seem possible. Sin is a millstone tied around my neck, dragging me under.
I cannot wait for the day when all the weights will be thrown off and I will stand in the glory of the King. I cannot wait for the day when the tastes and glimpses of beauty will become a full reality, all encompassing, never ending. I cannot wait to see the King of Glory seated on His throne! What a marvelous day that will be!
Sometimes, I get so bogged down with sin, and how it's killing me, and those around me. Sometimes I forget that Christ has already conquered sin! When I accepted Christ, the Lord didn't just erase all my previous sins before that moment, he erased ALL of my sins. He washed me clean for all time!
How marvelous is that? The Lord knew that even once I started walking with him, that I would still stumble, and he laid down his life for that! For me. For you. How precious must we be to him. How precious would someone have to be that you would willing go to death for them?
Praise the Lord for his goodness!
It's good to remind myself of those things, because right now my heart is bogged down. It's heavy in my chest. I have dear friends who are suffering. They are carrying heavy burdens that are weighing down my heart as well. I cannot stand to see those whom I love suffering so greatly.
And sometimes, in the midst of our suffering we feel utterly lonely. I know I do. Even though we know God is with us, we feel as if knowing isn't enough. God isn't physically there to comfort us, God in those moments feels like a concept, a foreign being far away, floating away on a cloud and so distant.
Honestly, getting down on your knees and shouting to the Lord may be the most helpful thing in situations like that. Because the Lord is with us in the midst of our struggles. The Lord IS there. And most times, we won't see where he was until we've left the situation and see the beauty in the way that he moved. But the most beneficial thing I've learned recently is to straight up say what I'm thinking to God. Even if it's, "God this is stupid. I don't understand why I am struggling with this. I just wish it would go away. I know you're good. Why is this still happening?"
But I think the most important thing I've learned is this: God is not who I make him to be, God is who he is and age to age he stands! So, it's up to me to pray that the Lord would reveal His true self to me, that God would correct me where my thinking is wrong.
So often it's easy to make God into a cosmic bully, like a kid with a magnifying glass, burning ants. That is not who the Lord is! He is not an evil father! The Lord does not look at your suffering and say, "You got what you deserved!" The Lord is moved to compassion when His children are in pain! It's so easy to imagine God as separated from your hurt, to see him separated from your pain, but he's there in the midst of it! The Lord knows your hurt better than you do, because he knows your heart better than you do (Proverbs 15:11, Proverbs 16:1-4)!
So, turn your heart to God and submit to Him! Running from God will only add to your misery. Because our hearts, in the midst of pain and struggle, need only one thing: the God of the Universe. The cure, the only solution is to turn to the Lord who made you, who loves you and to share your pain with Him. To submit your future to him. To give up your control and abide in His will.
It seems so intangible when you've hardened your heart against submission, but when you give up your pride, you'll feel it. Deep down, you know what you're holding back from God. And you have to let it go.
Those are the moments that are the most beautiful. The first feelings of relief. The first feelings of a better future. Because when we hear about what God is going to do, we want to be a part of it. We want to see the beautiful things come to be! So why would we let our foolish plans get in the way of an eternity of goodness?
Look at this picture of the future beauty from Isaiah! How exciting and beautiful is this! All the old, evil will pass away by the Lord's doing and the goodness that started with the work on the cross will be brought to completion!
1 “Is anyone thirsty?
Come and drink—
even if you have no money!
Come, take your choice of wine or milk—
it’s all free!
2 Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength?
Why pay for food that does you no good?
Listen to me, and you will eat what is good.
You will enjoy the finest food.
3 “Come to me with your ears wide open.
Listen, and you will find life.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you.
I will give you all the unfailing love I promised to David.
4 See how I used him to display my power among the peoples.
I made him a leader among the nations.
5 You also will command nations you do not know,
and peoples unknown to you will come running to obey,
because I, the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel, have made you glorious.”
6 Seek the LORD while you can find him.
Call on him now while he is near.
7 Let the wicked change their ways
and banish the very thought of doing wrong.
Let them turn to the LORD that he may have mercy on them.
Yes, turn to our God, for he will forgive generously.
8 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
9 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.
10 “The rain and snow come down from the heavens
and stay on the ground to water the earth.
They cause the grain to grow,
producing seed for the farmer
and bread for the hungry.
11 It is the same with my word.
I send it out, and it always produces fruit.
It will accomplish all I want it to,
and it will prosper everywhere I send it.
12 You will live in joy and peace.
The mountains and hills will burst into song,
and the trees of the field will clap their hands!
13 Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow.
Where nettles grew, myrtles will sprout up.
These events will bring great honor to the LORD’s name;
they will be an everlasting sign of his power and love.”
Isaiah 55, NLT
Also, this passage from Hebrews 12. This is a reminder to submit to the Lord, to dust ourselves off and pick ourselves up. Which, we can't do when we stand in opposition to the Lord.
"1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.2 We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.3 Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.
4 After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin.
5 And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said,
“My child, don’t make light of the LORD’s discipline,
and don’t give up when he corrects you.6 For the LORD disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”7 As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father?8 If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all.
9 Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever?
10 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness.
11 No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.
12 So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees.
13 Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong."
I pray that you would submit to the Lord always. I pray that you would look forward to the beauty of the King. That you would seek to honor Him in all you do. That you would throw off the weights of this world.
It's hard, and I'm struggling too, but God is good and has delivered us.
"I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13 NLT)
I hope that you can take this and use it to combat the lies of Satan and to war against your sin. I pray that the goodness of God finds us, strengthens us and helps us to feel less lonely. I know that someday we won't feel this way. I look forward to that day and long for its arrival!
"LORD, sustain me as you promised, that I may live! Do not let my hope be crushed." (Psalm 119:116 NLT)
I cannot wait for the day when all the weights will be thrown off and I will stand in the glory of the King. I cannot wait for the day when the tastes and glimpses of beauty will become a full reality, all encompassing, never ending. I cannot wait to see the King of Glory seated on His throne! What a marvelous day that will be!
Sometimes, I get so bogged down with sin, and how it's killing me, and those around me. Sometimes I forget that Christ has already conquered sin! When I accepted Christ, the Lord didn't just erase all my previous sins before that moment, he erased ALL of my sins. He washed me clean for all time!
How marvelous is that? The Lord knew that even once I started walking with him, that I would still stumble, and he laid down his life for that! For me. For you. How precious must we be to him. How precious would someone have to be that you would willing go to death for them?
Praise the Lord for his goodness!
It's good to remind myself of those things, because right now my heart is bogged down. It's heavy in my chest. I have dear friends who are suffering. They are carrying heavy burdens that are weighing down my heart as well. I cannot stand to see those whom I love suffering so greatly.
And sometimes, in the midst of our suffering we feel utterly lonely. I know I do. Even though we know God is with us, we feel as if knowing isn't enough. God isn't physically there to comfort us, God in those moments feels like a concept, a foreign being far away, floating away on a cloud and so distant.
Honestly, getting down on your knees and shouting to the Lord may be the most helpful thing in situations like that. Because the Lord is with us in the midst of our struggles. The Lord IS there. And most times, we won't see where he was until we've left the situation and see the beauty in the way that he moved. But the most beneficial thing I've learned recently is to straight up say what I'm thinking to God. Even if it's, "God this is stupid. I don't understand why I am struggling with this. I just wish it would go away. I know you're good. Why is this still happening?"
But I think the most important thing I've learned is this: God is not who I make him to be, God is who he is and age to age he stands! So, it's up to me to pray that the Lord would reveal His true self to me, that God would correct me where my thinking is wrong.
So often it's easy to make God into a cosmic bully, like a kid with a magnifying glass, burning ants. That is not who the Lord is! He is not an evil father! The Lord does not look at your suffering and say, "You got what you deserved!" The Lord is moved to compassion when His children are in pain! It's so easy to imagine God as separated from your hurt, to see him separated from your pain, but he's there in the midst of it! The Lord knows your hurt better than you do, because he knows your heart better than you do (Proverbs 15:11, Proverbs 16:1-4)!
So, turn your heart to God and submit to Him! Running from God will only add to your misery. Because our hearts, in the midst of pain and struggle, need only one thing: the God of the Universe. The cure, the only solution is to turn to the Lord who made you, who loves you and to share your pain with Him. To submit your future to him. To give up your control and abide in His will.
It seems so intangible when you've hardened your heart against submission, but when you give up your pride, you'll feel it. Deep down, you know what you're holding back from God. And you have to let it go.
Those are the moments that are the most beautiful. The first feelings of relief. The first feelings of a better future. Because when we hear about what God is going to do, we want to be a part of it. We want to see the beautiful things come to be! So why would we let our foolish plans get in the way of an eternity of goodness?
Look at this picture of the future beauty from Isaiah! How exciting and beautiful is this! All the old, evil will pass away by the Lord's doing and the goodness that started with the work on the cross will be brought to completion!
1 “Is anyone thirsty?
Come and drink—
even if you have no money!
Come, take your choice of wine or milk—
it’s all free!
2 Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength?
Why pay for food that does you no good?
Listen to me, and you will eat what is good.
You will enjoy the finest food.
3 “Come to me with your ears wide open.
Listen, and you will find life.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you.
I will give you all the unfailing love I promised to David.
4 See how I used him to display my power among the peoples.
I made him a leader among the nations.
5 You also will command nations you do not know,
and peoples unknown to you will come running to obey,
because I, the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel, have made you glorious.”
6 Seek the LORD while you can find him.
Call on him now while he is near.
7 Let the wicked change their ways
and banish the very thought of doing wrong.
Let them turn to the LORD that he may have mercy on them.
Yes, turn to our God, for he will forgive generously.
8 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
9 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.
10 “The rain and snow come down from the heavens
and stay on the ground to water the earth.
They cause the grain to grow,
producing seed for the farmer
and bread for the hungry.
11 It is the same with my word.
I send it out, and it always produces fruit.
It will accomplish all I want it to,
and it will prosper everywhere I send it.
12 You will live in joy and peace.
The mountains and hills will burst into song,
and the trees of the field will clap their hands!
13 Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow.
Where nettles grew, myrtles will sprout up.
These events will bring great honor to the LORD’s name;
they will be an everlasting sign of his power and love.”
Isaiah 55, NLT
Also, this passage from Hebrews 12. This is a reminder to submit to the Lord, to dust ourselves off and pick ourselves up. Which, we can't do when we stand in opposition to the Lord.
"1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.2 We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.3 Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.
4 After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin.
5 And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said,
“My child, don’t make light of the LORD’s discipline,
and don’t give up when he corrects you.6 For the LORD disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”7 As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father?8 If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all.
9 Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever?
10 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness.
11 No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.
12 So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees.
13 Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong."
I pray that you would submit to the Lord always. I pray that you would look forward to the beauty of the King. That you would seek to honor Him in all you do. That you would throw off the weights of this world.
It's hard, and I'm struggling too, but God is good and has delivered us.
"I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13 NLT)
I hope that you can take this and use it to combat the lies of Satan and to war against your sin. I pray that the goodness of God finds us, strengthens us and helps us to feel less lonely. I know that someday we won't feel this way. I look forward to that day and long for its arrival!
"LORD, sustain me as you promised, that I may live! Do not let my hope be crushed." (Psalm 119:116 NLT)
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