Recently, I have been in a dark place. I've been struggling to feel the love of the Lord, because I have withdrawn from Him and become really self-absorbed, and have failed at loving others. Sometimes the opportunity to sin stares me right in the face, and I say, "Why yes, I WILL sin right now."
But, as always when I write on my blog, something occurred to me. God wants in a loving way me to be righteous, not in a "I'm just waiting for you to mess up" sort of way. So many times, I'll just let my guilt keep me from sinning. I get guilty considering sin, and then flee from the feeling of guilt, not sin. If the guilt didn't exist, the desire to sin would no longer be a consideration in my thoughts. I would simply sin and that would be it. Not even a second thought about it.
Then, I realized, I was thinking about it wrong. It has nothing to do with guilt at all. It has to do with the fact that I love the Lord. He has blessed me so abundantly, and shown me love so fully that I should be righteous because of my deep love and thankfulness for him! It was really liberating. And when I've been confronted by the those situations it's so much easier to say, "Sin, take a hike. I love the Lord. You're silly, go away. Because God is good and his treasures are forever, yours are only temporary."
I came to this conclusion while daydreaming/pondering the book of Job. In my brain paraphrased version of Job, the devil approaches God and says, "Hey, God. You know that guy Job? Yeah, he just loves you and is righteous because you've been so kind to him. He doesn't really love you. Watch, I'll go provide some distractions and he won't love you anymore." And God says, "You go right ahead, but I know his heart, and he loves me." Job is a righteous man, the devil's primary target! But God is rooting for us, not waiting for us to fail!
Last week I was in spiritual battle fighting the devil for my happiness. With the power of the Lord, I am on the mend. God is so good and so faithful. And though the devil attacks those dearest to me, I continue to love the Lord. He is a faithful God. When I want to sin, I imagine God talking to Satan and saying, "Yes, but my daughter Paige loves me." And the devil says, "Bah! I can get her easy!" And then I say, "Well, I can prove the Lord right. And why, would I ever want to prove the devil right?" Though this is probably not the case, it's a very helpful illustration and has taught me a lot about God's love for me.
When I fail, I don't have the wrath of God sending lightning bolts to smite me, but instead I see the face of a father, picking me up and dusting me off, forgiving me and saying, "Daughter, I love you."
That's why I seek righteousness, because the love of the Lord is never ending.
But, as always when I write on my blog, something occurred to me. God wants in a loving way me to be righteous, not in a "I'm just waiting for you to mess up" sort of way. So many times, I'll just let my guilt keep me from sinning. I get guilty considering sin, and then flee from the feeling of guilt, not sin. If the guilt didn't exist, the desire to sin would no longer be a consideration in my thoughts. I would simply sin and that would be it. Not even a second thought about it.
Then, I realized, I was thinking about it wrong. It has nothing to do with guilt at all. It has to do with the fact that I love the Lord. He has blessed me so abundantly, and shown me love so fully that I should be righteous because of my deep love and thankfulness for him! It was really liberating. And when I've been confronted by the those situations it's so much easier to say, "Sin, take a hike. I love the Lord. You're silly, go away. Because God is good and his treasures are forever, yours are only temporary."
I came to this conclusion while daydreaming/pondering the book of Job. In my brain paraphrased version of Job, the devil approaches God and says, "Hey, God. You know that guy Job? Yeah, he just loves you and is righteous because you've been so kind to him. He doesn't really love you. Watch, I'll go provide some distractions and he won't love you anymore." And God says, "You go right ahead, but I know his heart, and he loves me." Job is a righteous man, the devil's primary target! But God is rooting for us, not waiting for us to fail!
Last week I was in spiritual battle fighting the devil for my happiness. With the power of the Lord, I am on the mend. God is so good and so faithful. And though the devil attacks those dearest to me, I continue to love the Lord. He is a faithful God. When I want to sin, I imagine God talking to Satan and saying, "Yes, but my daughter Paige loves me." And the devil says, "Bah! I can get her easy!" And then I say, "Well, I can prove the Lord right. And why, would I ever want to prove the devil right?" Though this is probably not the case, it's a very helpful illustration and has taught me a lot about God's love for me.
When I fail, I don't have the wrath of God sending lightning bolts to smite me, but instead I see the face of a father, picking me up and dusting me off, forgiving me and saying, "Daughter, I love you."
That's why I seek righteousness, because the love of the Lord is never ending.
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